The tickle of curiosity. The gasp of discovery. Fingers running across the keyboard.

The tickle of curiosity. The gasp of discovery. Fingers running across the keyboard.

The World of Iniquus - Action Adventure Romance

Sunday, February 25, 2018

Bottom Line: Can we take a moment and talk about women's butts?


OR Tactical pants suck and your XX character knows it. OR Can a woman get a little lycra, please?


I'm just going to start out here letting you know that this article is a thinly veiled rant. ;)

I'll still try to make it informative for those  of you who write women who are wearing tactical wear in the field - so EMT, paramedic, police, park rangers...I just did a Search and Rescue talk for Sister's in Crime, and I brought out all the different kinds of clothing I wear because sometimes a little detail here and a little detail there adds to authenticity. 


Let's start with describing your female characters:
Their hair and eye color help someone conjure a vague image. Height is helpful because that can come up in a scene where she is helped or thwarted by her stature. But please don't say she was "fit" or "athletic" because that means different things based on her means of becoming fit. 

I will often, describe the males in my writing not by how they are fit but what sport might best reflect their body type - a line-backer being different from a gymnast, which is different from a basketball or tennis player, for example. 




It's the same with women. And since I said we were talking about women's butts, let's go there. A female runner's bottom and thighs will be very different from someone who lifts weights, rides mountain bikes, swims, climbs rocks, dances, plays volleyball etc. Within the spectrum of various sports, especially if a woman cross trains, there will be a variety of body types. However, I don't think it's a stretch to make a generalization. 

With that said, many women who wear tactical wear are fit. They work out their bodies to make themselves effective at their jobs. Ask yourself:

  • What does their job require of them in terms of strength and fitness? 
  • What exercises would they do to compensate for deficits? 
  • What would their body shape do (in general) with that particular type of training?

For example, a woman who dead lifts heavy weights will have developed larger, rounder gluteal and thigh muscles. 

Having a butt and thighs - or being a curvy girl, creates issues when it comes to a woman's uniform. It seems to me in my efforts to buy tactical pants that the designers take out the extra crotch length found in men's wear and leave everything else the same. Many women do not have male-shaped bodies. 

Why is this a problem for your female character?
  • The many pockets all over the tactical pants are not accessible because they are too tight to slip the hand in.
  • The numerous grommets on the pockets that keep the pockets secure stop the fabric from stretching properly at the hip. This makes bulges in the line of the pants which then looks untidy. And it also stops movement at the hips which is integral to the women's powerhouse - her legs. You can't kick when your leg is being squeezed, and it's not great for running either.
  • Squatting is an issue. If there's no room in the pants for a woman's butt when she's standing, how the heck is she supposed to squat? The grommets are killer. They hurt. If you stay down too long, you've cut off your circulation. So envision a female character locked and loaded and positioned behind her cover in a crouch. Her pants seams/grommets are biting into her hip, the lack of stretch means that the fabric is cutting off circulation. She can't move, she'd give away her position. Her feet are going numb. Now! Now is her chance to run and save the hostage. Erp! She can't feel her feet. She crouched too long and now she can barely stumble forward on her numb feet. Damned pants! And BOOM! you've complicated your scene.
  • Can she just get a bigger and bigger size to allow for her butt, hips, and thighs? Not really. When she does, the leg openings starts getting bigger and bigger too, and she looks like she's wearing clown pants. Also, the waist gets bigger. As she crouches/squats that already gaping belt line opens right up and folks can look right down her backside. So let's say she did that, you character bought pants big enough for her hips and bottom and had them tailored for her waist. But the pants legs are still wide. In a fight, if someone kicked, I'd grab the fabric on their pant, down they go. SPLAT! That extra fabric is a problem in a fight. It's also a problem if she's in the woods where twigs and chiggers and other things can get up a wider leg.
  • Ladies in the woods - have body needs too. It's not like we can turn our back to folks and take care of business. We have to find a secluded spot and drop trau. If your pants don't fit you correctly, that is a problem. A prooooobbbbllllleeeemmmm. Imagine the jumping an bobbling it takes to get a waist over the wide part of a woman (her hips and bottom) to get it up to the smaller circumference of her waist. (TruSpec 24/7 has a pant that has an integrated elastic in the waistband that solves the problem) 

Why not give a woman a little Lycra?

I have found tactical pants with stretch, but they are shaped like calf-length yoga pants and don't have a pocket array. They look unprofessional for most women's jobs which would require tactical pants.

I have found some that have great accessible pockets and a waist that was made from a material similar to maternity wear. Very comfy and movable. But if you put anything in your pocket, say your phone or a knife, the pants fall down.

More problems for your female character who is built like a woman. 
  • Few places carry women's tactical pants
  • When they have them they have very few size options
  • The fabric is abrasive and stiff. Men have better/more options in fabric texture and weight. Men can, for example, find lightweight summer tactical pants as well as cold weather pants and pants in between with soft finishes. (I know because sometimes I just give in and wear hubby's pants and a really strong belt)
  • If you are mentioning your character's size of clothing as a reference to how she approximately looks be careful. Add two sizes up from her normal size (at least) when she gets tactical wear. A size 4 will wear an 8, a size 10 will wear a 14. This could be a plot twist. They could find some chick's tactical pants Size 10 and think they are looking for a size 10 woman. Their suspect has size four and six in her closet. Can't be her, these would be too big. They would argue in the detectives office that it would be the OJ glove all over again. "Ma'am try on these size 10 pants... see jury? They fall right down. How could she have run in them?" Ah, that would make sense unless the cop is a female or knows a female who ordered her size in tactical pants and couldn't get them past their knees and therefore knew that the pants would fit.

Ladies who wear tactical pants, please weigh in in the comments. Either tell us more ways to twist a plot with their poor design or tell us which brands/names you like and why (But if you would please also include a vague body type it would be appreciated).



8 comments:

  1. I laughed so hard, ruefully as I read this. After 21 years in the military, I can safely say that tactical pants, even ones tested and 'proven' by the military, for women suck. Bottom line. I'm so glad I don't have to deal with that every day anymore since I retired. I missed the friendships and the camaraderie but not the uniforms/clothes.

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    1. Bottom line!!! LOL I'm adding that to the title. That's awesome. Thank you, Anne, for your service - but I'm glad you're more comfy now :)

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  2. Short, curvy person here. 5' 2" and a couple of extra pounds in the middle. I played tennis and skied in earlier years, and now play golf and do heavy lifting of stones and digging/planting trees. Legs and butts become more developed with those sports. It has become a part of my year round routine to search through every single department store and sporting goods store to find the pants that fit and stay put while engaging in the activity of choice. Elastic waistbands and pull-on pants work best for fitting my narrow waist and curvy butt, but the wide legs are a challenge in the bug infested woods. I have found that wearing thick socks in my work boots helps. I tuck the pants legs into the socks and they stay put. The completely Lycra pants never worked for me, because they get sweaty in hot temperatures. Drawstring pants need to be constantly re-tied - impractical in the field. I stick with a cotton blend that sometimes has a stretchy mix, but hard to find every year. Cargo pants pockets work well to hold the golf balls and tees, as long as the pants have an elastic waistband that is at least two inches wide. Otherwise, the pants fall off or constantly need to be adjusted.

    I'm now wearing a pair of cotton blend cargo pants with a wide elastic waist. I stuffed the legs into the socks and boot tops. I was taking pix and moving a pile of brush in a buggy area. The pants stayed up and moved with me while bending, shifting, stooping, reaching, lifting, and holding some equipment in the pockets. The pants are from Coldwater Creek and are 3-4 years old. I have not been able to replace them.

    Guys pants are not skin tight. They tuck their pants into their boots if needed. IMO, freedom of movement in a fight would be more important than worrying about somebody grabbing the loose fabric.

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    1. About the last point. Loose pant legs don't mean loose pants at the hip/butt. So I'm saying it's the worst of all worlds. :/ Thanks for sharing, Patti! Too much Lycra in the heat is a problem and I hadn't considered it when I was writing this. You're right, though!

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  3. One of the annoying bits about looking for the pants that move with you is the rise - distance from crotch to waistband. When I'm riding my bike or bending or even lifting weights, those pants that don't sit at the waist tend to drop down the butt. Not helpful in a Krav Maga class. Great article, Fiona. :-)

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  4. I like hiking pants with zip off legs and when I run I wear shorts or running tights. Yes, anything in a pants pocket makes the pants fall down. I solve that problem by wearing a vest with multiple pockets or a utility belt. I always thought the issue was just my weird shape. I never had enough butt to hold pants up until I started running.

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  5. This is a great post, Fiona, and gave me all sorts of ideas when it comes to my heroines in law enforcement, military etc.

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  6. Thanks for this. I'm just beginning to write a female POV and this is CANDY for details.

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