If you’re writing a thriller, a police procedural, or hardball crime story, your characters will need weapons. Guns, fists, harsh language, maybe? The choice is kind of important.
Your decision will go a long way to defining your character’s character. Like clothes, shoes, or cars, your protag/antag’s choice of weapons says a lot about who they are. A misstep can be comical for all the wrong reasons. It’s no stretch to accept Sheriff Andy Taylor not carrying a pistol in The Andy Griffin Show. However, Barney Fife strolling the streets of Mayberry with a full-automatic grenade launcher would be implausible to say the least.
“I took my .38 out and looked to see that there were bullets in all the proper places. I knew there would be, but it did no harm to be careful. And I'd seen Clint Eastwood do it once in the movies.” Spenser, in Robert B. Parker’s Small Vices
For the first 2/3rds of the 20th century, all movie heroes/villains carried one variation of two nondescript pistols: either a Colt Peacemaker in cowboy pictures or some form of double-action revolver for everything else. Then came a certain Clint Eastwood film with a ridiculously large phallic symbol handgun which fulfilled SO many white male fantasies. Ever since, every new film competes to out "gun" the previous film.
Even in books, most contemporary heroes and villains have the vogue pistol of the moment. Most borrow, extensively, from the movies. But do you really want the movie-guy’s choice of weapons to define your character?
John Sanford's Lucas Davenport is fond of Smith and Wesson's 4506. Never mind that they're a pain in the posterior to shoot and heavy as a a bucket of bricks. A guy in a crit group wrote a private investigator who carried a shoulder-slung 12-gauge shotgun. In Houston, during the summer when it's hot.
Why is that laughable? Crank up your shower as hot as you can get it and then—before you step into the shower—put on all your clothes and then set fire to you bathroom. Now imagine your poor protag walking around all day in that environment with a heavy AF shotgun strapped to their body.
Who does it right?
Lee Child’s Jack Reacher prefers a Glock 17, a .9mm semi-automatic pistol. Easy to use, easy to clean, as befitting a former military cop. Walter Mosley's Raymond “Mouse” Alexander prefers a .41 caliber revolver (make/model is never specified). The pistol is old-school reliable, no frills, no flash. Mouse is a meat-and-potatoes-simple killer.
Other guys leave it to chance. Donald Westlake, (writing as Richard Stark) regularly leaves his master heister, Parker, (no relation to the author quoted above) at the mercy of circumstance and just as often unarmed. Don’t feel bad for Parker, he just as regularly avails himself of men over-confident in their store-bought ~ahem~ phalluses. Brenda Mackey, Parker’s associate, takes down more than one “tough guy” with her stiletto, (heels, not blades). In Stark’s world, Parker (et al) prove it’s the person, not the weapon.
“A gun is a coward’s weapon. A liar’s weapon. We kill too often because we’ve made it easy… sparing ourselves the mess and the work.” Frank Miller, The Dark Knight Returns
Like Batman, maybe your do-right man is firearm-averse. Adam Hall’s Quiller, unlike most book spies, doesn’t carry a gun (much like 99% of non-book spies everywhere). Sam Spade (The Maltese Falcon) and Doc Sampson, (too many books to cite) simply do not like them.
Maybe it’s a practical issue. It can be difficult to “get” a gun. But even if your character is in the trade, traveling (especially over national borders) makes carrying a gun a HUGE hassle. So, if not guns, then what?
“You know the type, loud as a motorbike, but wouldn't bust a grape in a fruit fight," Jay-Z, 99 Problems
There’s something to be said for a hand-fighter. Most writers have an ideal form. Most writers, (not named Chuck Palahniuk) have never been in a pillow fight. In fact it was a brutal beating that inspired Palahniuk to write Fight Club. I won't spoil the book beyond saying punching someone, especially when they are actively attempting to punch you first, is not what they make it look like on Magnum PI.
"I shall fist beat you, frontier style!" Daffy Duck, Dripalong Daffy
Manhunting detective John Sandford’s Lucas Davenport is a blackbelt in karate. Sherlock Holmes is an adept judoka. Robert B. Parker’s PI, Spenser, is an ex-boxer who once fought Jersey Joe Walcott, for a few minutes, anyway.
“Judo helps us understand that worry is a waste of energy.” Kano Jiguro, founder of modern Judo
Judo is a grappling art (think wrestling but without the shiny outfits) of throws, pins, and joint locks. It is a great self-defense tool. However, there is a time commitment measured in years. Other downsides: judo has few answers to a punch or a kick. Also, judo is next to useless against guns and knives.
“Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the mouth.” Mike Tyson, heavy-weight champion
Boxing is more pragmatic. Anyone can learn how to punch but no one can teach you how to take a punch. Jaw of steel, jaw of glass—it’s largely, the luck of the draw. Or a history of abuse.
The biggest drawback of boxing, judo, krav maga, et al, is time. All martial arts requires basic levels of physical fitness, constant training to achieve mastery, and regular training to maintain minimal proficiency. You’ll note I don’t mention the importance of talent. Time and commitment is more important than actual talent.
It’s also no secret that a lot of talent boxers, judokas, and krav maniacs have been dropped by some mangy barfly who’s been to the floor more times than the “experts” have been to the gym.
The floor (as in getting “knocked to the floor”) teaches you what works and you pay in pain. What does this have to do with weapons? Each discipline has a recipe for success, if followed to a T, the gods favor your cause, and you don’t bump up against some mangy barfly. Each also has a glaring weakness.
“For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.” Isaac Newton’s third law of motion
Thomas Harris knows guns. You can see it in the way that Will Graham labors to maintain proficiency with a .44 caliber Bulldog instead of the (then) FBI issue .38 Smith and Wesson. You can also see in the way that Clarice Starling drills and drills, (to the point of leading the FBI combat shooting team) with her 1911 automatics.
 |
| SpyderCo Harpy |
But Harris also knows knives.
Hannibal Lecter, Harris’ big-bad, is a medical doctor who benefited from a healthy surgical rotation prior to choosing psychiatry as a specialization. Whether it's vocation, the challenge, or simply preference, Hannibal Lector gravitates to knives. Harris uses the (not-so) good doctor’s love of edged weapons to terrifying effect.
But Dr. Lector’s weapon of choice is ultimately a matter of practicality. Forget a background check or even an I.D., if you got the cash, you can get a SpyderCo Harpy or Civilian just like the doctor relies on. And, unlike martial arts, it doesn’t take a decade to master the knife. Unlike a gun, you don’t have to work on your aim every few weeks to stay in top form or worry about shooting someone, (more likely yourself) by accident.
The draw back to knives?
First: if your character isn’t quick, they are very likely dead. Second: seldom does anyone do violence with a knife without getting cut. Hands slip. Knife thrusts miss. The blade gets turned in the melee. In short, the guy with the knife regularly gets cut right along with the victim.
“Have you ever met someone that you didn’t kill?” Sgt. Murtaugh, Lethal Weapon
But maybe your character has an aversion to blood. Maybe they would rather avoid the risk of murder charges. Maybe the risk of a gun far outweighs the advantages.
 |
| Ten-bucks in change can yeild several-thousand in dental work. |
Nick Cutti and Joe Staton’s short, weasel-faced private investigator, Michael Mauser, is a tough guy. But before he joined the Marines and before he went to war he was just as short, weasel-faced kid who got beat up (regularly) by a street gang. Even if he could find a gun, Michael would do a long stretch in prison for using it. So, he chooses a plank of wood and a roll of quarters.
When one gang member attempts the weekly gut-punch, he breaks his fist on the plank of wood under Michael’s coat. Another gang member looses two teeth to Michael’s loaded fist. The rest decide Mike is an alright-guy and they don’t want to fight him, anyway. Michael finds the mantra for the rest of his life: improvise, adapt, overcome.
 |
| Some dogs carry humans for protection. |
Our beloved Fiona Quinn knows guns. She also knows her intrepid reporter, Remi Taleb, dare not lay hands on a weapon or she looses all the unspoken (albeit minimal) protection afforded the “press.” There’s some international law there but whatevs…
Remi’s solution: an ingenious combination of steel-loaded wrist braces and custom-made-steel-toed Chuck Taylor Converse sneakers. The small woman uses both to devastating (and highly entertaining) effect. Read all about it here.
Bottom line: the weapon should fit your hero and/or big-bad. Most private investigators eschew guns. Your PI can certainly strap up with a shotgun, assault rifle, or shoulder-mounted rocket launcher. You just have to dance a little faster to sell the impracticality. A cop who doesn’t like/won’t use guns? These days? Sounds contrived but if you write it well, it will work. Most cops also carry stun guns, batons, and pepper spray. A criminal who avoids guns is quite common. A criminal who uses a gun is usually at the mercy of the market and their budget. Hint: not a lot of AR-15s or AK-47s. Does that mean you can’t or shouldn’t use any of the above? Hell, no. It means you have to account for it in your story.
The pen, if well-wielded, can justify the sword.
The photo at the top, "Fight Club" movie poster belongs to 20th Century Fox. It is used here for illustrative/educational purposes as covered by the Fair Use Doctrine.
No comments:
Post a Comment